Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize