they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
