what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just tell him i said nine months
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize