Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
