Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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