Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
