tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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