So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
