I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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