Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
