is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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