I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
