i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am in a vortex of obligation.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
