So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I intend to get homeless drunk
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize