Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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