After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize