think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
