Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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