My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
