Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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