Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
