It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
