I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
