I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
