It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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