your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
