I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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