I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize