He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
