He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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