I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
