All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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