my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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