When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
