In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
