White coat. Heels.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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