I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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