In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
