She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
