JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
