So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
