At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
