i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
