if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
