My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
