I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
