I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
