Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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