Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We need a shit load of segways right now
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
