life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
