You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
