I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
