apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
