yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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