thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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