He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
A+ Viking dick
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