she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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