Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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